This is an all-too-common scenario nowadays and if you are not familiar with it, you should be.

Buying a girl a drink in order to start a conversation is a poor strategy that rarely works in your favor. Guys, the ladies nowadays are already thinking two steps ahead of you. They think that because you bought them a $2 coors light, you want something in exchange-their time, their number, their interest. Obviously, they don’t feel obliged to give you any of that, and frankly, they’re right. But it doesn’t mean that they won’t drink for free on your dime. I mean, come on! Would you turn down free beer?

When you do this, you automatically disqualify yourself as any potential prospect. Most will be polite and stay a few minutes, so as not to seem bitchy, but they will find a convenient excuse to get away from you. This is why they always have their girlfriends with them. Perhaps there was a time when this gesture was seen as an example of your generosity or a sign of your independent wealth. Nowadays, though, women just see you as a tool.

Ok, before I get the comments about how some guy somewhere picked up this girl and HE bought her drinks, bear this in mind–if you do not know when it is an appropriate time to buy, then you are better off not doing so.

Men, women need to learn how to orgasm.

Think about that. For guys, once we had access to our older brother’s porn stash, we learned pretty early and quickly how to rub one off. And when was the last time you jerked and couldn’t finish off?

For the girls, it’s wasn’t that simple. There are many who, for whatever reason, didn’t “take matters into their own hands” or who were just not good at it. And even if they were excellent at getting themselves off every time, it doesn’t mean that they’ll come every time they have sex with a guy. According to the  National Health and Social Life Survey, only 29% of women always experience orgasms during sex with a partner, as opposed to 75% of men. Which means that about 2 out of 3 guys who are having sex with women are not “satisfying” them every time, if at all. They may think they are, but they’re not. Here’s a tip–if you can’t tell and have to ask a girl after sex if she came, the answer’s probably a “no”.

We guys are notorious for always having sex on the brain. We’re sex addicts by the time we hit junior high. But think about it–there are a TON of women who have yet to develop their “addiction” that are well in their 20s and 30s. Some, sadly enough, go through life NEVER having great sex. If a girl says that “sex is not a big deal” to her, that she can “take it or leave it”, chances are, she hasn’t had the big, wet, satisfying O yet during sex (or she is lying to you). She really doesn’t know what she is missing. And she’s probably not that good at the sex, either. Guys, it’s your duty to teach her.

But maybe you’re fortunate enough to be with a girl now that is a sexual dynamo. Maybe her appetite puts yours to shame. Well, first, congrats! Second, chances are there is a guy (or guys) in her past that not only knew how to make her cum every time but more importantly, taught her how to do it.

Now, don’t freak out about the guy. You should be very thankful to him. He’s done all the hard work and you have gotten to reap the benefits. She probably was horrible at sucking dick (ow! teeth! it’s not corn on the cob, darlin!) when he met her and now she’s slobbing your knob like a champ.

OK, some of you you are freaking again. You really have to get over these girls having a past. Which is where you should start.

Regardless if she is a virgin or a porn star, you need to be accepting of not only her sexual past but of any lewd  thoughts and fantasies that she may or may not have. I’m not saying that you have to participate in her sadomasochistic desire to dominate a guy, but do not judge her negatively because of it. I cannot stress this enough. Many times, when you are first seeing a girl, she won’t just come out and tell you that she has fantasized about threesomes. Rather,  she may tell you that she had this crazy “friend” in college who was a total slut who got it on with these two guys in a spring break hotel room and wants to know what you though of that. She is screening you for your response, and what you say to her will set the tone for how she will behave sexually around you. Are you open and non-judgemental about it? Or do you think girls like that are whores and you’re glad that she’s not one of them? If she feels she can’t confide in you all of her sexual thoughts, she will have a tough time letting herself go enough to have an orgasm with you.

So, number one, be the guy who will not judge her or think she is a slut for all of the nasty, deviant fantasies she has that are just waiting to come out.

Number two, the biggest erogenous zone on a woman is her brain. Talk to her about her fantasies. Create stories with her and you in them and tell them to her before and during sex. Roleplay them with her. Describe the sensations in detail to her. Use all of your senses in the story, what everything felt, sounded, looked, tasted and smelled like. Lower your voice, so that you are speaking from deep in your chest. If you are not very good at talking like this, look for some resources about “talking dirty” on the web. Most of them can point you in the right direction.

Number three. Be dominant when having sex with her. Initiate sex and take the lead. If you’re not used to being rough with a girl, start out slow and work your way up. Grab her firmly, toss her around, smack her ass, hold her hands down, run your hands through her hair close to the scalp and tug her head back (gently, now) and be confident in your actions. Remember to talk to her and make sure you’re not being too hard with her. She’ll let you know how far she wants to go.

Now, I could write pages on sex techniques, but thankfully, that is why we have the internet. Look for sites dedicated to educating you about sex, including female anatomy and specific sex practices.

Guys, this is your call to arms. Apparently, there are too many who are subpar in this department out there. Only exceptional men go out of their way to show these women how incredible sex can be.

This is the question that dominates all hetero men’s life, in one form or another. It’s a question as old a civilization itself, yet to this day, our popular sentiment has done a horrible job of giving a reasoned, coherent response. From half-baked ideas passed down from one male generation to another, to some of the junk journalism of op-eds in men’s magazines today, guys in general are as hapless and confused as ever. Nowhere in mainstream society do they give you the straight dope on what these women really want. Perhaps we as a collective society just haven’t discovered enough about humanity, until today, to truly tackle the ever-enigmatic half that is woman.

One thing is clear, though. We males have been slipping further and further away from our true nature, from what makes us ‘real men’. Like a domesticated dog who has all but forgotten its wolfen ways, our call of the wild is now a faint sound in the distance.

Now, before you put on your loin cloth and go howling out into the forests, bear with me – this is not that kind of blog!

We have forgotten many of  those qualities that are pure catnip to any red-blooded, man-loving girl. Much to the dismay of our fairer sex, ‘real men’ are becoming an endangered species.

Alas, even relying on women to show us what they want is an exercise in futility. Despite most of their best efforts, they just don’t know how to fix it, let alone what it is. They just know it when they see it! With all due respect to the ladies, most of them are just as clueless as us. Plus, they’ve got their plate full with this whole feminist movement and what it means to be a ‘modern woman’ in society today. I feel for you, ladies. More on that later, though.

This blog is dedicated to peeling away the layers of the male-female dynamic, through both published and personal studies and articles devoted to relationships, sexuality, mating and the human mind. There will be the sharing of rare, unlocked secrets, and of course, the occasional rant by yours truly, thrown in here and there. This is a BIG question, gentlemen, and I don’t profess to know everything, as I too am just a student. That said, let’s start thinking outside the box on this one, because we men are a dying breed.